I had a great day in academic sense. I finally corrected all my math notes.
I have an exam on Monday in C programming and on Tuesday in algorithms and data structures.
I have two days to prepare for that.
About my eating today, I did better than yesterday, but I must lower it still. It feels like too much.
I need to feel empty, although I know it's not a good idea right now.
1 cup of chicken 231
1 cup rice 194
100g feta cheese 221
400ml orange juice 180
Total 826
I'm guessing that I'll be okay if I keep my calorie intake around 800-900 these days but as soon as my exams pass I have to lower it to 500 or somewhere along those lines.
I can't risk my grades for my ED. I just can't.
I feel torn between academic success and starving myself.
I hate this.
I hate this.
I hate this.
I still have my brother's C programming textbook. I don't know if I've told you, I actually used to study IT before I dropped out (costuming is my passion, but computers are my trade/backup).
ReplyDeleteI wish you didn't feel the need to restrict. You're obviously a smart young woman to be studying programming, and I'd hate to see your ED sabotage that :(
Take care sweetie *HUGS*
xxxx
i wish i'd have a good day in the academic sense. it's never that for me.
ReplyDelete^agreed with Bella on the whole "i wish you didn't feel the need to restrict" part. i didn't even read this post yet.
honestly, i don't want you to lower it. if anything, i encourage you to keep it up.
because you gotta, darling. plus, you don't want to be accidentally trigger a b/p cycle. maybe keeping your cals up will help a little, right, little one?
i love you so much. please stay as safe as you can and take care of yourself.
-Sam Lupin