I'd spend forever, wondering if you knew..

These days, I can turn everything *even Disney* into sth ED related.

So, weigh in day for Piggy's challenge.
SW: 69.5
Week1: 69.5
Week2: 68

It means no worries.. 

Improvement obvious.

Anyway, the last 3 days were a train wreck of endless binging and purging AKA Mom's days off.
I saw 67.5 but right now I'm up to 68.
Oh well.

Story of my life.

I have to do better tomorrow.
I've started exercising too.
*Hell froze over yesterday*

Comments:

Rayya Venus has made me paranoid. I'm counting it as 210. Just to be on the safe side. xD

Venus You helped a lot. I didn't know that before. ^_^
Don't worry about commenting, we'll be waiting for the spring. :P

The lovely bones I love making you laugh. It makes my day. It really does. xox

Rayya. Flawed Design.

Stay strong loves <3

There was something so pleasant about that place...

ABC day 5:100cal
weight: 67.9

I started drinking some herbal mix based on honey today, because my mom believes it will help regulate my period. I'm supposed to drink 7 tsp of it a day for a month and it makes me incredibly anxious because I don't know how many cals a tsp has. I'm deciding on 100 for 7 tsp.

One step at a time,
there's no need to rush.
Like learning to fly
or falling in love...

Intake: herbal mix 100
Exercise: 0
Total: 100

I'm just too lazy to write a proper post.
Sorry girlies

Love it.

Comments:

Rayya Why, yes it is, love. xD Aw thanks, I'd just love to be lower, lower, lower... xD

Emma Aren't we all? <3

Stay strong loves <3

But secrets always have a way of coming out...

ABC day 3 : 300cals
weight: 68.5
Epic fail, loves.
At first I was ashamed to tell you about it, but I was good today.
I was at 100 for most of the day *2 rice cakes eaten at 11am*
But then around 10pm, my brother made me furious.
I'm an emotional eater. When I'm enraged I eat. So add 1600 to it. HUGE BINGE.
I don't think I've had that many calories in one sitting in months.

ABC day : 400 cals
weight: 68 *woot*
all eaten at 6pm
1 stuffed pepper 210
2 pieces of bread 135
3 chilli peppers 41
Total: 386 :)
Yay team.

Anyway I have to think of a way to make up for yesterday.
*exercise*
I HATE to exercise.
I deserved it though.

Comments:

Rayya aww I love you too <3

Emma I'm glad you find the pictures amusing  ^_^
God knows there are too many sad things in our posts.

Flawed design Thanks love <3

Eyedea <3 <3 <3

EnglishRose Don't worry darling cause...

Stay strong loves <3

A unicorn? Glitter? Rainbows? Just breaking the dishes, my dear...

Not puking its guts out, but still... xD

As it turns out, patience pays off and Rayya was right.
This morning I weighed in at 69kg.
Plateau broken. *checked*

ABC day 2: 500calories
intake: 10 rice cakes - 493
exercise: 0
total: 493

I'm actually pissed off because I couldn't exercise but also very happy because of the weight loss.
Does that make sense?
Nothing makes sense to me anymore.

Comments:

Thin or not Thanks, btw I can't see your profile, I can't see your blog... Post a link? :*

The lovely bones I think you can make it if you put in some effort. I'm GMT +1 so that means WE're behind the challenge and A LOT at that... *shrugs shoulders* What can a girl do? I ramble all the time. :)

Rayya Okay, you have no idea how glad I am when you are right. Go study, not going to bother you about posting anymore.

Flawed design My weigh-in? How about nine pounds less? That's where I want to be right now. <3

Eyedea Znas ti si prva osoba sa Balkana koju sam srela ovde i neverovatno je koliko sam srecna zbog toga. Hoces da zajedno probamo ABC? S tim sto bi ti krenula od 3. ili 4. dana... :)

EnglishRose One of them is persian, the other one is just your regular street cat.
Yeah the dress really is beautiful, isn't it?
Anyway, I hope you feel a little better tomorrow.
Whoever he is, he is going to Hell for making you sad, I promise. <3




Stay Disney loves <3

And I told you to be patient...

So... weigh-in day for Piggy's challenge.
Can you guess?
Oh yeah
69.5 kg
Still haven't broken the plateau.
So all in all, that would be a total loss of 0.0000000 kg xD
I'm in an oddly good mood considering my zero progress. *thanks whoever is out there*

I'm trying a new thing now.
I've tried fasting.
I've tried restricting.
I've tried normal eating.
I've tried binging.
Now: the ABC. Again.

Day 1: 500 calories
Intake: 486 cal (Hell yeah)
Exercise: 140 cal
Total: 346

Not bad. but I KNOW I can do better than that.
Tomorrow I'm aiming for negative and Tinkerbell help me, it's going to be a negative day.

Guess who the kitty's for?? coughshehaspetalscough

Comments:

Rayya Since there are no new posts from you on which I can comment, I have to do it here. Good luck with the revising thing...
They are not supposed to be depressing, but I am a happy-go-lucky kind of girl, all sunshine and rainbows.
And they just make me depressed, so I'm changing that to silly, fairy and witty (I hope) with an occasional weight-related picture or quote.
I'm not a big fan of thinspiration, so that another occasional thing.
My comment is longer than my post. Wow. Just. Wow.


Ruby-tuesday I personally love dogs. I have a golden retriever myself. xox

EnglishRose First of all, I missed your comments.
I have two cats at home. They sleep with me during the winter. Bright future of a cat lady, written in the stars for me.
I hate my weight, but who doesn't? xD
Aww <3

Jackie You mean the binge-stomach ache-can't get up for days-why did I do that-thing?? xD
Yeah... *scratching head*... been there, done that... :)


Stay stong and beautiful ladies <3

I know why. The harder question is "why not"?

Hey darling, how about a plate-... au?
I'M STILL at 69.5.

So today I've eaten around 1600, trying to break it.
I feel disgustingly full, but I'm ready to settle if this monster of a binge helps me keep losing.

Ironic.

You know it's kind of weird.
Right now 1600 seems like a mountain of food.
5 days ago 1600 was... HELL YEAH, mum couldn't succeed in stuffing me like a state fair balloon.

Been there. Done that.

I wonder what will happen after.. say ... a 10 day fast?
Will a cup of juice seem like too much?

How my mind works.

God, I'm babbling.
I really should stop.

Unbelievably cute.

Right-now resolution: STOP posting so many depressing pictures.

The club

Comments:

Rayya I'm actually a dancer, and as far as I know, you're not "a huge beast of a man."
Anyway, I really want a new post. Stop being lazy. :P

Flawed design Maybe every 6 pounds, because that's the difference for one bmi point for my height? So 68? and then at 65?

Poppy I think that people here are the only ones that really mean it when they say "I know how you feel". That makes me love you even more <3

Ruby-tuesday, The lovely bones We can SO form a club xD Maybe we should ask for glasses as entering fee? :)

Stay strong lovelies <3

It should be illegal for you to see my heart...

I start Piggy's challenge tomorrow.
Weight still hasn't changed.
Still at 69.5.

I've been thinking of posting progress pics at 65?
I think that's too early.
Idk.

I know. But not anymore. I'm done with that shit.

Today was just not a good day. Again.

Comments:

Rayya I wish. Members of my family are enjoying themselves too damn much to be good and let me do what I want with my body. On a completely different note, I love your nails :)

EnglishRose Trust me, I am not as clever as you believe me to be, but thanks <3

I read it as overeat. If you read it wrong too, I'm not sure whether I should laugh or cry.

Shiny happy day? No, not one of those...

My period stopped.

Yay me.

I saw a doctor weeks ago. He has no idea what's wrong with me. 

Oh well...
I have no idea what's wrong with me in general, so this came as no surprise.

Anyway I'm still chained to the bed.

So far today I've managed to avoid eating as much as they would like but I am not satisfied.

700ml of chocolate milk 7*63=441

3 pieces of bread 200

a meal my mother makes 140

I am not going to allow them to stuff me anymore.

I draw the line at 781.

I still think it's too much but I'm ok with it as long as it's under 1000. 

Note on the weight: Im still just under 70.

About the summer camp? xD

Have you ever heard of Petnica?

It's a small village near the town of Valjevo.

A science center for highschoolers is built there.

I go on a program called EBH *experimental biology and chemistry*

We basically work a lot there and learn quite a few interesting things.

For example... Ever heard of Quantum levitation-locking? No? Google it. It's fascinating.

I sound like such a nerd, don't I?

I can't help it. 

I love science.

I love understanding things.

Back to what happened at the camp.
I had a lovely time and a lot of fun.

The only problem I had was connected with eating.
Fact is, we have an eating disordered girl in our group.
Based on looking I would say she's an undiagnosed anorexic.
I would diagnose myself as EDNOS.
So everyone was on lookout for everyone's eating habits.
I almost went insane because I planned on fasting most of the time.
Instead I was forced to eat more than necessary which resulted in me gaining weight.
I hate my life.

Comments:

Girls, thank you. Even though I said I don't want a pity party, your comments mean a lot.
Oh and Englishrose I hope you weren't talking about me in your last post.

Stay strong loves <3

Sometimes I think I know her... Sometimes I really wish I did...

Don't freak out when you read this.
Don't panic and don't tell me you're worried about me.
I've listened to that for the past month and I'm sick of it.

Anyway straight to the point.
My period hasn't stopped since July the 2nd.
And no, I am not kidding.

And the only reason I am telling you this is because I am frustrated as hell and I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm forbidden from leaving the house to exercise.
My mom made me a herbal-honey-secret ingredient mix that is supposed to make my blood "better".
The only thing it makes better is my appetite and I do NOT appreciate that.

God I think I could scream.
They all circle around me like sharks, during the day and God forbid I try to do anything except for lie in bed.
I am SO SICK OF IT.

I want to starve.
I crave that empty feeling so bad.
I think I could rip my guts out if that will make it better.
I would, but I know it won't help.
I need to see the number on the scale shirking, not staying just under 70kg.

God, I must sound like a lunatic.
Stopping the rant right now.

Comments:

Alina If this goes on, I'll be lucky not to go up xD
Rayya thanks lovely <3
EnglishRose Camp? Well it was... interesting? xD Idk. It's more of a science school than anything. I'll fill you in. <3

Stay strong lovelies <3