I was trying to fly, but I couldn't find wings...

Hey lovelies

I binged 2 nights ago. I ate two rows of cake.

I didn't purge it but I wanted so badly. 

I felt strangely proud of myself for that until yesterday morning.

Waking up, the first thing I see is the empty plate on the night table. I rush to the scale, press the button with my big toe and the 0.0 shows up. I put one foot on the cold surface, but then I chicken out. I'm terrified of what I've done and can't face the numbers, so I remove my foot and go brush my teeth.

 I'm still thinking how badly I screwed up and I won't know until tomorrow because I slept at my dad's last night and he doesn't own a scale. God, I wish I had purged.

Yesterday I ate:

2 carrots 100

oatmeal 154

2 tbsp honey 128

cup of yogurt 156

Total: 538

Today I ate:

cherry bagel 290

cup of yogurt 156

I really really hope that will be it for today.

I'm glad the three of you still remember me.

I LOVE YOU. Seriously.

Rayya <3

Sammy Will try to do love <3

EnglishRose And daddy <3

Darling, how I missed you.

Hey lovelies
I haven't posted for a really really long time.
Sorry about that one, but now that I have a laptop I'll be posting more often.

My weight as of today is 151.2
I really don't know what's wrong with me.
It's been a year and 8 months since I've started this blog and my weight just goes up and down the same 15 pounds. I'm sick of that.

So I made a new plan.
I need to be 110 by Valentine's day.
That puts my allowance at about 800.
So starting tomorrow, I'm done with being a lazy ass.

Love you <3