Rants...

I also don't care.
So why do you want to hurt me so bad??

Anyway, now that that's over with, I'm going to tell you what a oh-so-horrible day I've had.
I. can't. stop. eating.
I have no idea why.
I know I'm not hungry.
And I stop myself from opening the cupboards.
And then not 15min later I catch my hands stuffing my face with basically anything and everything.
It's like I am stuck in a nightmare.
Trapped.

Also my mother keeps triggering me...

I think I've lost some weight. *does a spiral in front of me. I pretend not to notice*

Have you eaten all that food? You're going to get fat.

Here. Take the chocolate. God knows you don't eat anything anyway.

And we go in a circle from there..

About my weight? No idea. Haven't stepped on the scale in more than a week.
To be perfectly honest, I am afraid to.
But on Monday morning I will.
I have to.

And you girls?
I love you.
So much.

I may not comment on your blogs, but I read them.
I simply don't know what to say.
I understand though.

Stay strong lovelies  <3

Just start already...

Hey lovelies... 

I'm back from Petnica. It was awesome.

Plan for the next few days is eat as little as possible and restart the ABC on Monday... 

Stay strong <3

Anything but cool...

I've been binging through the last week including today.
I just can't stop.

I'm a fat cow with no self control.

Also the purging disgusts me, but I'm doing it anyway...
What's wrong with me??

I stepped on the scale Friday and it said 146,6.
I just.. don't know.
I want to be under 145 so bad.... I need it....

I am going to Petnica tomorrow so I'm not going to be able to post...
It's not like anyone cares anyway...

Obviously I'm in a veeeeeeery foul mood.
Partially that's because tonight will be my last dance lesson. That means I won't be able to dance with P until September and it's killing me.
Btw he likes his dance partner K and I like him. Ironic? I believe so.
He could never like me anyway.
I mean who would like a FAT UGLY BITCH WITH NO SELF CONTROL WHAT-SO-EVER??
That's right. No one.
Looks like I'm meant to spend the rest of my days alone (since I don't want anyone but P).

Stay strong lovelies <3 Hope you're having a better day then I am...

Never anything enough...

But I do know.

146.

That's what's wrong.

145.8

And I refuse to be fat anymore...

Stay strong loves <3

148

Happy??
YES!!


Hungry??
Do you really have to ask?? 

Anyway today:
Sour milk (84)
Lemonade (17)

total: 101 

*Doing a happy dance*

Stay strong lovelies <3

Stupid

Read the title again and again and again....
I just spent all my calories...
S.T.U.P.I.D.

Vegetable broth - 160
Toast -120
Turkish delight -80

all: 360

I have my dance class tonight so that's -130
which makes it a 230 cal day *if I don't screw up*

I WILL DO THIS.


I AM STRONG.


I WILL NOT EAT UNTIL TOMORROW.

Oh, that reminds me, plan for tomorrow
1 cup sour milk :D exactly 100

Stay strong lovelies <3

150.2

Success!!
Sour milk (105)
Half a bagel (around 150)
Peas (47)...
All in all: 303 cals

Grinning....

And I'm happy it was all water weight :)

Stay strong lovelies <3

There is no further decision to make...

I'm sick of being a whale.

My plan for my first day of ABC (I'm starting with Wednesday, week 1):

5 lemons (24*5=120)

2 egg whites (25*2=50)

Green tea and coffee (20)

all in all: 290 and I'm not going over that.

I'll weigh myself every day so you can track my progress.

Good Lord I'm so sick of me you wouldn't believe.

Stay strong lovelies <3