I went to get my driving licence today...
While I sat bored to death in the waiting room, a guy approached me...
He was about my age and super cute and we talked and talked and then he left because his licence was given to him....
I was happy and I felt beautiful and you know... it was awesome...
But since I am unlucky as hell and because Baby Jesus won't let me have a rest...
A guy in his 50ties went to talk to me and I couldn't get rid of him and I when I got my licence I ran out of there before you could say "pedophile"...
And then I got home and cried and cried and cried... and ate and ate and ate... (about 1600cal)
And I WANT to be thin... but more than anything I wanted them away from me.
I don't want men 30sth years older than me chasing me so I made myself unattractive by eating.
Stupid logic. I know.
Now I just feel stupid and full and gross and ugly and like a crybaby.
I'm a mess.
I feel exactly the same way. Last night I had an awful dream about this guy who sexually harassed me a while back and he was all over me and I just want them to leave me alone. I try and channel it in the other direction though, even though it doesn't make sense. I try and think- The less I eat, the less of me there will be to grab on to. Maybe then they will leave me alone. Keep your chin up.
ReplyDelete<3 xoxo
i hate it when men tell u to smile i get that alot at work...
ReplyDeletedont let anyone make u feel inferior without ur consent
thats avery common thing to do especially with rape victims (idk if u r im just saying) i think everyone does it to some extend to just try not to be noticed by the ppl who u dont want to notice u
much love
xx