Wishing on a star...

I feel so alone and depressed.  Me against the world. I basically want to lie down and never wake up when I'm beautiful.
I'm so pathetic, aren't I?
God, throw a brick on my head and please be precise.
I can't stay here another night.

I just realized what I've written. 


I don't know what's wrong with me.

I used to love life when I was fatter than I am now. Now I don't know.

I want to be perfect so bad it hurts.
I want mom to pay attention to me, I want people to love me and I want to be the best.
I know I can do the that., but first I need to control myself.
I need to know that I won't betray myself so other people could trust me.

I want to be as beautiful as the girl in the picture.
She seems strong, doesn't she?
And beautiful.
And ready to fight for herself.
I want to be her.

I binged today on chocolate. I swear, it will never happen again.
I'll try to limit my calorie intake to 500. And we'll see where it takes me.

Stay strong lovelies <3