Hey lovelies,
it's been a while.
I don't really know what to say.
All I really seem to do is complain.
During the past few months I was at 130 at my lowest and at 164 at my highest.
I broke a leg during the time. And I mean quite literally.
So I am back at around 155. I'll weigh myself in the morning.
My prom is coming up in May.
I really need to go back to being thin.
Well, 130 wasn't really thin but it was thin compared to now.
Oh, and I don't know if I've told you, but I've started smoking.
I'm smoking Eve 120s right now.
And at the same time, the cigarettes make me sick and make me calm.
I am not happy.
I'm starting lvl10 training starting Saturday.
It's a challenge and it lasts for 90 days.
I want to be able to complete the ABC at least once.
So starting today, ABC, here I come.
I find it to be an awesome trigger book.
If you're recovering ignore this, please.
I don't want to be to blame for pulling you down the rabbit hole with me again.
And it's not really a rabbit hole because we're not Alice.
This is a hell hole and we are all searching for something we can't get.
My next thought is "broken hearts lie all around me."
Well, at least I'm listening to good quality music, right?
How have you been?
I've missed you a lot, especially my two beauties EnglishRose and Sammy.
I'm going to check out their blogs right now to see what they are up to.
Much love girls <3
"all i seem to do is complain" (i typed that back up because i'm too lazy to scroll up and copy/paste it). well, babe, even if all you seem to do is complain, complain away. that's what we're here for. to calm you down when you're pissed off. to cry with you when you cry. to laugh with you when you laugh. we are here to listen. no matter what.
ReplyDelete130-164 is quite an impressive range!
i fortunately or unfortunately do not smoke. because i know i can get hooked off that stuff fairly easily.
good luck with ABC. i know how daunting it is!
"If you're recovering ignore this, please." i am unsure where i fall. in between recovery and relapse i suppose. it is not that easy to fall down the rabbit hole, m'dear. i'd have to be following the rabbit.
OH MY GOD you are the cutest. seriously. i hope that my comment goes through!
-Sam Lupin
PS. i think think of you when i think of Coldplay. :)
Thanks love <3
DeleteExcessive exercise and starving do the 130 and 164 is done by constant lying down and eating all the crap you couldn't eat before. I recommend none of the two.
Don't start now, please. Cigarettes stink. Seriously. They. STINK.
Not doing the ABC, not right now anyway.
Oh, but honey, it seems I am the rabbit.
.. how they shine for you.. ^_^
I'm in no place to lecture on smoking (chronic lung disease and smoking more than ever, woo) but please do be careful. It sucks when you just need them to get through each hour, and it can get bloody expensive too.
ReplyDeleteI completed the ABC diet once, back in like 2010. I was unimpressed. Eating the same amount everyday has always worked better for me. I need to get Wintergirls, I still haven't read it. Wasted is obviously brilliant, but I quite like Unbearable Lightness by Portia De Rossi too. I might have to start re-reading them again.
xx
I know believe me. Half the scholarship goes for cigarettes. I hate the damned things, but then again, I hate me too.
DeleteMaybe, I never got past day 15.
I have them in pdf on my computer, e-mail them to you or sth? ^_^
I quite like Portia De Rossi. I found myself watching Ally a million times over to see if she actually looked like she believed she did. Guess what? She was the most beautiful of them all, at least to me. Strange, isn't it?
Oooh, yes, that would be awesome :)
Deleteisabella-rayne@hotmail.com
xx
im so glad ur back
ReplyDeletemissed you
hope ur leg is ok xxx
I missed both of us.
DeleteYes, now it is. I removed the cast a few weeks ago.
It's back to normal now, thanks for the worry.
<3